jealous

I remember back sometimes to the weirdest things. I can remember when I blurted out something really stupid 11 years ago, but I can't remember someone's name from 11 days ago. I can remember exact places of things last year in Europe, but I can't find my hubby's phone from last month.

I remember close friendships of amazing women- whom I am extremely jealous of. Jealous for several reasons:

their relationships with God- just incredible

how they look at everyday things - it's like seeing things thru new fresh eyes.

how they interact with others

how joy seems to just seems to flow out of them

Everyday I think, tomorrow will be different, I will go here and there and do this and that - like James 4 says. (My living in the moment for this week was swinging by a QT to get ice in a cup; I didn't plan ahead to bring my own cup to get it for free instead of paying 16 cents).

I forget to use today. I keep thinking tomorrow. I need to work each day to focus on becoming the woman I want to be, by striving to put God first and ask each day that He will not leave me the way I am.

But at the end of the day we all know the right answers, we know what we are suppose to do... We are just afraid to let go and to let God change us. We're afraid that we will never be the same.