i am my own worst enemy.

The phrase "you are the only one standing in your way" is definitely true. I am the only one keeping myself from doing what I want or should. And I don't mean this in a rebellious teenage way. There are several things I think God has put on my heart, sometimes maybe to see what I do with it, not necessarily that I need to do it. Maybe just to see what I do with my life. But I am my own worst enemy- the first sign of difficulty I want to chicken out, run away, or hide. It's not that I can't do it. It's not that I don't want to. I just don't think I can do it on my own.
I don't have to do it on my own, but I don't want help. I want to conquer it. It's my battle, right?

I went hunting for the following verses. I thought I knew what I was looking for. But I found this:
Rom 7: 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart.
But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Not sure that I am dominated by sin and death. I do hold onto bitterness, I do hold onto fears, I do hold onto grudges. But I wouldn't jump to dominated.
So I want to do it on my own. No matter what it is. It could be simple, it could be something spiritual. But yet when I try to take it on by myself, I get to the "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it." and "when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong."
A great friend of mine told be to read up on Ephesians 6:10-18, I'll emphasize 10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Most of the things I think I'm conquering are not of the spiritual realm, maybe they are, but like I said I try to take it on by myself. I get overwhelmed and then I want to run and hide. My friend put it very simply. Girl, enlist for battle.
Keep fighting. When we surrender to Jesus we get to live and FIGHT with His Power manifested through us! It's a battlefield and a journey.

I think I've been avoiding enlisting. I feel weary and tired already, and I haven't even "enlisted". I'm going to need to battle against fears, bitterness, disappointment.
I need to surrender to Him let Him take control and then take up arms and enlist. Everyday is a battle, everyday we have to surrender to our King and then take up arms against the filth that comes our way. It's not easy. But I know what I have to do, and I don't want to, but...
Girl, enlist for battle.